Original photography, served fresh, and shit I find funny, served lukewarm.
now i’m picturing allison calling us all to lineup and i come flying in late like
You are just so precious. Seriously, grilled cheese is the only thing that I can cook. Everything else, I manage to screw up royally. I once burned a frozen lasagna in the oven. I’m just terrible at everything cooking related, really.
omg THANK YOU IT’s NOT JUST ME
so husband does the “cooking,” but that actually means he just makes frozen lasagnas and pizzas and those skillet things you just throw in a pan and stir around, because i just
Hey, I feel you. My husband is the cook in this household, so on nights when he’s not home for dinner, I usually just make grilled cheese sandwiches or something that’s microwavable because I just can’t be bothered to cook anything complicated.
grilled cheese IS my idea of cooking something complicated
I’ve found that the stuff I’m most excited about finding and trying usually leads to me regretting my decision not long after trying it. I’m not sure if it’s just me being picky or what, but I’ve stopped trying new things because of it
aw man! my problem is that i’ll happily eat the same thing for lunch every single day for a year or so, and one day - and i never know when it’ll come - i’ll just look at it and be nauseous and never be able to eat it again
so i have to actually push myself to try crap once in a while, even if i’m not sure (“LIMEADE YOGURT SANDWICHED IN A COOKIE? WHY NOT!”) so as not to ruin everything i like to eat before i die
otherwise i might have to learn to cook and that’s not an option
me finding jalapeno pizza rolls at the grocery store:
me eating jalapeno pizza rolls right now:
i really wish i knew what the hell to say when someone offers me a project with “is this budget and schedule okay?” like how the fuck would i know i haven’t seen the project yet it might be fine or i might want to laugh in your face until blood starts coming out of my ears so why don’t you say what you mean, which is “this is the budget and schedule, we made up these numbers while we were smoking meth, take it or leave it”
mcdonald’s gave me ice cold fries, messed up my burger order, and didn’t give me my apple pie
i was like halfway back to the car to pitch a fit before realizing that, ironically, the only way my threats would be taken seriously is if i weren’t already the kind of person who’s eating mcdonald’s in my pajamas at 10 pm
you know, like they’re really gonna believe “i’m never coming here again”